


Lunar Recollection

by plutobinn



Series: Sanctuary Blue [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (past) - Freeform, Aftermath of Violence, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alpha Seo Changbin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Bruises, Caretaking, Changbin is NOT the Abuser, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Healing, Im Finally Brave Enough to Post, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love Confessions, M/M, Not on my watch, Omega Hwang Hyunjin, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating May Change, Scents & Smells, Self-Doubt, Seo Changbin/Hwang Hyunjin - Freeform, Soft Seo Changbin, im sorry hyunjin, mentions of domestic abuse, non sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27766078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutobinn/pseuds/plutobinn
Summary: After escaping three years of hell, Hyunjin has been left in the worst state possible, physically and mentally. His every moment filled with dread, anxiety, and bad memories. They fill his head, heart, blood and lungs, drowning him in a black abyss, like a starless night. The only light was his moon, ChangbinChangbin watched from afar for too long. His little starlight dimming to almost nothing. But he's here now, and will start to shine bright once more.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Series: Sanctuary Blue [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031193
Comments: 3
Kudos: 99





	Lunar Recollection

Hyunjin couldn’t think back to the last time he had the ability to be alone like this; calmly resting in the bath letting the now lukewarm water consume him. Even though the water wasn’t necessarily the ideal temperature anymore, the omega found comfort within it. Letting the scents from the bubbles and oils fill his senses. For a moment, he completely forgot about the torture he endured for those three years.

Unfortunately, it truly was only a moment. His immersion of the scents died off now tuning in to the sound of the leaky faucet dripping into the bath. With each droplet, phrases paired with the visual memories of him consumed Hyunjin's mind. 

“You’re such a useless omega, fucking heat getting in the way of my day.” 

Drip.

“You better follow your alphas wishes, or you’ll be sorry.” 

Drip.

“Poor thing, maybe if I hit you hard enough you’ll finally understand who you belong to yeah?” 

Drip.

“Fucking disgusting, your pathetic heat wrenched slick ruined our sheets. Go clean them   
whore.”

Drip.

“You really think Changbin cares? How pathetic, I’m the only one that cares here baby. I have always had your best interest in mind.” 

Drip.

The omega was too far gone, caught up in the vivid imagery within his mind. The sounds became overwhelming; too much for him to bear. He desperately wanted, no needed, his mind to stop.

Shakily, Hyunjin slowly lifted his hands to his sensitive ears; pressing down firmly, an attempt to block out the surrounding sounds in any way he could. 

“He’s n-no longer around Jinnie, H-he can’t hurt you any more.” 

He shivered whilst rocking back and forth as a way to ground himself. He needed to connect himself to where he was in that moment, but it was all too hard for Hyunjin. 

“J-just breathe Jinnie, in and out just like B-binnie said.” 

He spoke out loud to himself in an attempt to calm down, he needed to be back in reality again. Although he’s had plenty of attacks like this before, they still overwhelmed the poor little omega. He drifted farther away this time physical pain came along with the memories.   
Hyunjin couldn’t breathe, his heart clenched and his eyes blurred out.

His body was raw, far too sensitive, just like the day Changbin rescued him from his own personal hell.

“You're Useless.” 

“You're Worthless.” 

“Breathe. Breathe! Breathe!” 

Hyunjin whined out, unable to process what he was saying. His senses were so overloaded, barely registering the knock from outside, yet flinching nonetheless.

“Jinnie? Are you doing alright?” 

A soft voice called from the outside, Hyunjin concentrated on the voice, trying to focus only on the sweet comforting tone.

“You’ve been in there for quite some time, you must be cold.” 

Everything about this voice is familiar. It's calm, warm, but most importantly, safe. Hyunjin knows this voice; Christ of course he knows this voice. It belongs to the very person who saved him from everything he once knew. 

That voice alone finally brought the omega back, for a moment everything became clear, much more real than it was before. He choked on his breath, trying to find a steady breathing pattern but failing miserably. 

“Jin, are you there?” 

There was worry in his voice, Hyunjin knew that. He also knew how badly he wanted to cry out to him, describe every pain he is feeling in that moment, eminently wanting to hold him. He needed Changbin. 

“Bin p-please” he choked out 

In his mind, Hyunjin sounded pathetic to the alpha; just a weak and helpless omega just like Minjun made him believe.   
But to Changbin, it wasn’t weak nor pathetic; It was his omeg- his best friend, in need.   
Changbins instincts immediately kicked in, urgent but gentle. The alpha quietly entered the bathroom warm towel in hand, slowly making his way to the trembling boy in front of him, trying to make as minimal sound as possible. 

The struggle in Hyunjin's breathing was prevalent; he knew the omega was trying to hide any significance of suffering. The alpha gently sat by the tub, placing his hand on the porcelain to indicate he was there. Even though Changbin was gentle, the omega still flinched; his senses ever so sensitive to the slightest shift involving his surroundings. It broke Changbin, knowing how traumatizingly shattered the omega in front of him is.

“It’s alright pup; Binnie is here now. You're safe” 

This wasn’t normal Hyunjin behavior, and knowing that made Changbin's heart ache two-folds.

For as long as the alpha knew him; the omega always presented himself in a composed manner, most wouldn’t even blink an eye to what could be happening behind closed doors. 

Minjun always knew how to put on a show for the public eye, always depicting the two as a perfect couple. A true pair so to speak, it was far from that though.

However Changbin knew Hyunjin; knew how good Hyunjin was at hiding his pain, knew how Hyunjin would immediately change subjects regarding his relationship, Changbin knew Hyunjin better than anyone else. 

Which is why he resented himself for not rescuing him sooner. 

In a way the alpha felt responsible for the pain Hyunjin endured; if he noticed the signs earlier, asked more questions, listened to his fucking instincts. Maybe the omega wouldn’t have had to suffer the horrors that he did, he wouldn’t be as broken as he is now if Changbin just did something. 

Maybe Changbin didn’t know him as well as he thought.

Maybe he just isn’t a good friend afterall. His own thoughts and feelings were irrelevant now. 

It’s selfish of him to think this way, isn’t it? Only thinking about what he could’ve done rather than Hyunjin's own well being. 

“Typical Alpha Behavior.” He thought

Changbin used the edge of the tub to scoot closer to the quivering boy, reaching out to him but quickly pulling away before he even so much as brushed him. The last thing the alpha wanted to do was startle him especially with the state the small omega was in; however the primal part of him wanted to hold him and never let go, protecting Hyunjin from everything in that moment. The sensible part of Changbin, however, knew that even the slightest touch would send Hyunjin back into overdrive, but the latter knew he had to get him out of his thoughts somehow.

“Jinnie..are you with me right now? May I touch you?”

Hyunjin's face was scrunched, his entire form was shaky, delicate, he was in pain. In his current state, even the smallest of breezes could knock him over.

Hyunjin focused on Changbin's question repeating it over and over again to process exactly what he was saying; it took every bit of strength he had just to nod, let alone speak.

“Wan out m cold, n-need B-Binnie please..please help.” 

The omega choked, breaking out into a cry, not having the strength to hold it in any longer. The ability to breathe became frustrating as his sobs grew louder, a pure mixture of panic, shame, and turmoil. 

He felt like he was suffocating. 

The omega flinched from the warm feeling on his back. It was soft and gentle, this warmth felt right, it felt like....sanctuary. 

This warmth was moving slowly now, caressing his shaking form. 

Oh...that’s right. Binnie is here with him right now. Changbin. His best friend, his rock, his sanctuary, though...he would never tell him that. 

This feeling was intoxicatingly comforting to him, the omega couldn’t help but lean in to it. He needed it, needed that spice of cinnamon surrounding him. That same cinnamon spice is the only thing keeping him here. Physically that is. 

“You are alright. I promise.” The alpha shushed. 

“You are here with me, you are safe. You are always safe with me.”

The two sat there, taking in each other's scent neither worrying about how much time has passed. The alpha continued to comfort the omega, noticing the change in his scent, the sour smell lessening by only a fraction.

The omega was calmer now. Thankfully. 

Eventually Changbin was able to pull the omega out of the tub; gently wrapping him with the towel he brought in, cradling him in his lap softly combing through his damp hair. The omega nuzzled into Changbin's neck taking in the alpha's cinnamon scent once more, he was scared to admit it, but he loved it. 

The alpha dried off Hyunjin to the best of his ability before carrying him back to the alpha's bedroom; sitting him on his bed. Changbin pushed the omega's damp hair from his eyes, giving the younger a soft smile. 

Hyunjin watched as the alpha made his way to the dresser, feeling helpless even though he was trying not to think about it.

“Your clothes that I was able to find are still in the wash, they were really...nevermind. 

He paused, swallowing. 

Telling the omega about the state of his clothes is probably not the best option. Although, it is important for him to know, the description of stained and ripped clothing is most definitely the last thing he needs to know right now.

“Would you be comfortable wearing my clothes for the time being? I have some pretty soft sweaters and pants.” 

Hyunjin nodded; watching Changbin sigh with a smile then making his way to sort through various items in his drawer, looking for the softest pieces possible. 

His mind drifted again as he continued to watch the elder. He put so much thought and effort into everything he did for him; always wanting to make sure Hyunjin was as comfortable as he can be. His mind traveled to a week ago where he felt like the entire world was against him. 

If Hyunjin was being honest with himself, god knows what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t call Changbin when he did.

Hyunjin doesn’t remember much due to his anxiety, truly all he was able to recall were the muffled screams of Minjun, the flashing of red and blue, and Changbin. Mostly, the alphas reassuring words that always soothed the omega. Hyunjin believed with his whole-heart he didn’t deserve Changbin. He was too good, too kind, so fucking selfless.

If it weren’t for his problems? Changbin could be out with friends or working on his music right now. Instead Changbin was here with him, hell, Changbin even took off projects just so he could take care of him. The alpha even offered his home; legitimately asking him if he’d be okay moving in with him for the time being, or for as long as he wanted. Hyunjin obliged but that didn’t make him feel any less guilty or worthy. 

He clutched onto the now cold towel, vision now blurry thanks to the tears welling up once more. 

He did all of this for me, but why? He thought.

It’s not right, it’s not fair for such a wonderful person like Changbin to go out of his way to help him. Nothing the alpha did was forced, he knew Binnie would be ashamed if it came off that way. 

Hyunjin’s senses were becoming too much again, he couldn’t stop thinking even if he tried. 

He couldn't hold it in, it’s overwhelming. He barely had enough energy to sit up let alone keep in his tears.

Immediately, Changbin whipped around, clumsily moving towards the younger, kneeling so he could see the omegas face. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay Jinnie. I’m right here pups, just Binnie and Jinnie no one else is with us. I promise you that.” 

Hyunjin whimpered with his eyes closed, he was too embarrassed to look the other in the eye. 

“M sorry binnie, sorry called you, sorry made this your problem.” he wailed covering his face. 

“Shouldn’t have bothered you! Just have let you enjoy your life, not help mine.” 

The younger continued his constant apologies, with every one Changbin became more and more upset, not with him no, he could never be mad at Hyunjin, not in a million years. 

What the older was upset about was the cause of Hyunjin's state. Minjun. The more he listened to Hyunjin's trembling voice, the hotter his face got.

Changbin could feel the blood coursing through his body, his jaw clenched. Fuck, his instincts were consuming him. 

Another sob from the younger one snapped him out of his trance, his entire form relaxing. He slowly reached for Hyunjin, hesitating but quickly being met with the omega’s shaky form. He shushed him, releasing pheromones to calm him once again. 

Hyunjin kept apologizing, this time for involuntarily falling into the elders arms. But the alpha reassured him.

“It’s alright pups, you don’t need to be sorry.” 

He tilted Jinnie’s face up, so their eyes could meet, both softening from the presence of each other. 

“Binnie, Jinnie s cold...help Jinnie please.” 

“Alright pups, are you strong enough to get dressed? If not I c-could help you?” 

Nervously, Binnie twiddled his thumbs overthinking what he just said. If he makes Hyunjin feel unsafe he will never forgive himself. 

“I-I...sorry, I probably overstepped my boundaries. I-I’ll let you get dressed j-just call me whe-” 

“N-no Binnie d-don leave p-please don p-lease don. St-ay” 

He whimpered weakly, holding the alphas wrist, trying to pull him back. He didn’t want to be a burden, but he didn’t want Bin to leave either. 

“I won't leave pups, never. You can trust me, yeah?” 

He nodded pulling him in closer, wrapping his arms around the alpha quickly pulling them back to hold onto the towel. Hyunjin was comfortably nestled in the crook of Bin's neck, something he wasn’t able to do often due to their visible height difference. 

Binnie brought his hands up to the younger's shaky shoulders, delicately caressing his hypersensitive skin.

“You feel cold pups....wanna get dressed now lovely?” 

The omega nodded into the alphas neck, his breathing is still frantic but calmer than it was before. 

Since Hyunjin was distressed, it was very important for Changbin to go slow, which allowed the former time to process each action surrounding him. 

Binnie moved his hands towards Jinnie’s, gently removing each finger from the towel he clutched within his hands. Massaging them once they were removed and placing them at his sides. 

Since the omega was now vulnerable, Changbin has to be extremely quiet, so the omega wouldn’t feel threatened. 

“I’m going to remove your towel now pups, alright?” He questions eyes locked with the younger ones. 

The omega nodded, still in the alpha's neck, but now clutching onto the latter's shoulders instead of the towel. 

With that Changbin proceeded in his motions, pulling the towel down from his shoulders revealing bruises both dark and light, along with bite marks that looked to be infected. 

Luckily, Hyunjin was still in the crook of his neck which meant he wouldn’t see him staring. Although he didn’t want to....he couldn’t help it. 

How could you ignore such a thing? An infected bite mark was one of the most alarming signs of misuse of power or incompatibility within an alpha-omega pairing. Not to mention how infected they were, yellow and red around the edges of each bite mark, some even having scabbing around the edges.

He pushed the towel farther, his back now exposed. More bruises decorated the omegas skin, lacerations both old and new accompanied them. 

Changbin’s mind went blank, rage taking over. He tried to stay calm, not wanting his pheromones to change for the omegas sake, although it was difficult he managed somehow.  
The alpha brought his hands to jinnie's shoulders, gently pushing him back so he could see his front side. 

“Binnie?” The younger questioned looking at Bin with confusion. 

Changbin’s eyes scanned the boy's front, his heart completely ripping out of his chest. 

His bruises and lacerations were nothing compared to the entirety of his frontside. Jinnies neck was yellow and purple, finger markings more prominent in more areas than others. 

There were more bite marks, deeper ones all over his collar bones and pecks. Once again...none of them were treated. On the younger's torso were more bruises, most likely caused by punches and kicks.

His legs had...scars. They were synchronized, fluid. These same scars were on his arms; fresher, deeper. 

These weren’t Minjun's doings, Jinnie did this to himself....he was hurting that much. He still was and Changbin did nothing. He ignored the signs, his feelings, his instincts. All because he didn’t want to intervene with Hyunjin's relationship. 

But he should have, he fucking knew he should’ve. 

The second he met Minjun, his inner alpha could tell something was off. Even his scent was foul. Fitting for such a disgusting person, if you could even call him that.

“D-did Jinnie d-do somethin wrong?”

Bin shook his head, still staring at his injuries, eyes becoming glassy as a result. 

Hyunjin brought his hands up to Binnie's shoulders, a weak attempt to bring the alpha out of his thoughts. 

Changbin however, kept staring. Tears silently rolling down his cheeks, eyes rapidly scanning the younger. 

Hyunjin lifted his trembling left hand from his shoulder and carefully covered Binnie's frantic eyes, blocking his view from the younger's body. 

“D-don’t l-ook a-at me...p-please.” he mumbled, lulling his head to the side hiding it in the crook of his elbow. 

“I’m sorry.” Changbin sobbed and pushed Hyunjin's hand away and leaning into his chest gently, not wanting to hurt him any further. 

The omega wrapped his arms around the other, combing through his hair and nestling into his neck once again. Guilt washing over him, thinking that he upset Changbin. 

“Jinnie u-upset B-binnie” He whimpered pushing himself even further into the other. 

“No pups.” Changbin whispered, sitting up to look at the younger face to face. 

Their eyes locked, both teary and filled with many emotions from guilt to despair. 

From Hyunjin’s perspective, he believes he has hurt the other, mostly, because he brought him into this situation. Hyunjin completely distracted Changbin from his own life. Taking him away from opportunities and fun. Now, because of him he’s upset and distressed, constantly on alert for Hyunjin’s sake 

However, on Changbin’s end; he just wanted Hyunjin to be safe. With how long they’ve known each other it makes sense for them to look out for each other and with the current situation, Changbin felt like he failed Jinnie, broke every promise he made to the younger. 

Both were damaged in their own way. Both wanted the best for each other, seeing their other half visibly hurting tore them in two. Even if the two didn’t know they were feeling the same way.  
“You didn’t upset me, again, you never could.” 

“Then w-why i-is Binnie crying?” His voice cracked 

“Because...i-if I was better. I would’ve been able to end your suffering earlier.” 

He paused, lifting his hand to Jinnie’s face stroking his cheek. 

“If I had listened to my gut? I could’ve saved you from all of that.” 

Hyunjin stared wide-eyed. That was the last thing he expected. Changbin wasn’t mad at him, he was sad for him. It hurt that such an amazing person cared so much for someone like Hyunjin, someone who didn’t deserve it. 

“B-bu B-binnie did-n’t know. Couldn’t h-have s-topped anyth-” 

“But I did know.” Changbin insisted, cracking once more. 

“Your demeanor changed, your clothing changed, you started speaking differently. Everything about you changed. I could see you were hurting and I sat by...I did nothing to protect you.” 

Changbin started to sob, countless apologies leaving his lips, panicking the omega just a bit. 

“I care about you so m-much pups..always have.” 

“Why...I’m n-not worth it...B-binnie d-deserves s-so much more. Shoul-dn’t w-waste time on su-such a u-seless o-omega.” 

Jinnie cried trying to hide himself. God he was so fucking useless, so emotional for no reason. He always felt like a disruption. 

“You are worth it.” 

“You are always worth my time.” 

The omega stared in shock and confusion, sniffling whilst listening to the alpha.

“How?” 

“Because I love you.” 

He swallowed looking up at the younger, he finally told him. Although he thought he never would; honestly this was probably the wrong time to do so, but he couldn’t hold it anymore. Not with the broken omega in his home, on his bed and in his arms. 

“Why?” Confusion in the younger's voice. 

Binnie loved him, this amazing and perfect being loved him. Why would he, out of all the omegas in the world, love him back. 

“What is there not to love? Everything about you is lovable.” Changbin hummed softly, a small smile appearing on his face.

Hyunjin knows he loves him back, although he is still confused, he has a feeling in which way he does. But after everything that he went though, he doesn’t know how to decipher his own feelings.

“I-I t-think I d-do too... just n-not ready y-et.” 

“That’s alright pups.” He stroked his cheek once more.

“We can work that out together, but right now your healing is the most important thing to me.” 

The alpha eyes sparkled, calmly bringing himself in towards the younger once more. 

The two hugged, taking in each other. Hyunjin’s scent mellowed out. The sour scent finally dissipated being replaced with his lovely lilac scent, Changbin took it all in letting it fill his senses. Mirroring Hyunjin's actions from earlier, eventually sitting up to look at the younger. 

“Let’s get you all cleaned up and in bed, yeah?” The alpha questioned, rubbing Jinnie’s arm signalling he was getting up. 

Hyunjin nodded and watched as Changbin went to get the first-aid kit, setting it on top of the change of clothes he picked out for the younger. 

After Changbin bandaged and dressed the younger, he carefully tucked him in bed letting Jinnie get his nest all settled. 

Since Hyunjin has been staying with Changbin, the alpha offered his room and bed so he could have a proper place to build a nest. 

Hyunjin fiddled around with the pillows , placing them in the perfect positions. Changbin watched in awe, admiring how adorable it was. 

After Jinnie was finally finished settling in, Changbin turned off the lights whispering him a good night before he left the room. 

“Wait” The omega called out weakly. 

“Can you stay? Don’t want you to leave.” Jinnie said covering his mouth with the blanket, dow eyes peeking over.

Changbin nodded making his way back over to Hyunjin. 

The omega shifted, moving pillows so the alpha could sleep as well. 

As soon as Changbin got comfortable, Hyunjin moved closer snuggling into his chest humming with content. 

Changbin combed through his hair, noticing how fast Hyunjin dozed off. 

He smiled, releasing more pheromones to keep the younger relaxed, bringing him closer hugging him tightly. 

“Things will get better, I promise.” He reassured the sleeping omega, kissing the top of his head before falling asleep himself. 

The two knew there was a lot more to get through, but right now sleep was the most important thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! This was and is nerve wracking. I've been writing for a long time now, but have always been too scared to post anything. But with some outside encouragement...I finally did! Also I'd like to thank my cousin for being my moral support and beta reader who literally went around the house with me smelling wax melts to figure of the perfect scents. I'm excited to continue this series and others I have planned! If you made it this far thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> I will have a lot more coming very soon! 
> 
> <3- Alex


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